Family mediation FAQs: Your key questions answered

Family mediation can feel daunting, unfamiliar, and uncertain, especially if you are navigating a tricky family situation for the first time. Whether your contemplating mediation, first hearing about it, or already involved, we understand that you are likely to have lots of questions. Here are some of our most frequently asked questions.

What actually is mediation?

Mediation involves having a structured conversation with a neutral professional who helps you and your family/partner reach agreements over disputes involving children, finances, and/or separation.

Mediation isn’t about deciding who is right or wrong, it’s about future-focused problem-solving, and working in collaboration with one another to resolve the issues in dispute.

Do we have to sit in the same room?

The short answer is no, not if you don’t want to. We understand that for lots of people, tensions and anxieties over family issues may become high, and the idea of sitting together in a room can be triggering.

Whilst mediation is effective with both people being in the same room, many mediators offer shuttle mediation, where each person sits in a separate room and the mediator moves between you. This gives each person some breathing room and space when processing discussions. There are also other options such as remote mediation whereby you could engage with mediation sessions online in the comfort of your own home and space.

If you are worried about sitting in the same room, or have found that it makes you uncomfortable, speak to your mediator who will help you find a solution and determine whether mediation is suitable.

Is mediation suitable if communication is difficult?

Often, yes. Just because there is a breakdown in your ability to communicate with one another, does not mean that mediation will not work in your situation.

Mediators are trained to manage conflict, keep discussions respectful, and make sure both voices are heard. Mediators can help to bridge the gap in communication breakdowns and encourage all parties to listen to, and take stock of the other’s feelings and position.

What is a MIAM?

MIAM stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. It’s the first step in the mediation process.

A MIAM is a one‑to‑one conversation between you and a mediator to discuss your situation and explore whether mediation is right for you. Each person has their own MIAM before any mediation sessions take place.

Having a MIAM doesn’t mean you have to commit to mediation.

What happens once we have reached an agreement?

The mediation process is entirely confidential. Once you have reached an agreement, the mediator will typically draft a Memorandum of Understanding which is a written document setting out what agreements have been reached. This Memorandum is not legally binding, so in some cases your solicitor will convert the Memorandum into a Consent Order which is legally binding once approved by the court.

Mediation can be a quicker, cheaper and calmer alternative to court proceedings, and drawing up a consent order to reflect what has been agreed can give everyone involved the same level of security, just like they would achieve at the end of court proceedings.

What if we don’t agree on everything?

You don’t have to. You can resolve some issues, park others, and come back later.

Even partial agreement can significantly reduce stress, legal costs, and time in court.

How long does mediation take?

It all depends on your circumstances and the complexity of the issues at hand.

However, as a general rule of thumb, you can expect to make progress within 2–4 sessions, and how often you have the sessions is entirely up you. It’s important to remember that each family is different. There is no right or wrong amount of time or number of sessions.

Compared with court proceedings which can take months, or sometimes over a year, mediation can often be a faster route to solution.

What if mediation isn’t working?

Mediation doesn’t always work, so don’t panic if it’s not helping you and your situation. If mediation isn’t working, express your concerns to the mediator and your solicitor. There are other NCDR options available to find a solution to the problem without the need to attend court.

Remember, mediation is a voluntary and a confidential process.

How can Ellis Jones help?

Whether you are separating, divorcing, or seeking assistance with children matters, our family mediators are well equipped to support and guide you and your family towards finding a solution. Please contact our team by phone on 01202 636223, by email at family@ellisjones.co.uk, or by completing our enquiry form below.